Go Nuts

If you don't find these blogs funny enough, try reading them in a different accent (in your head if you're in public). For example indian, African or even Arab. Arab accent is the easiest just pretend all the p's are b's and randomly stress on certain words. Or if you wanna learn Indian accent just stress on pronouncing the t's and d's and use j's instead of z's. I proof read my blogs in George Khan's (Om Puri) so called Pakistani accent from East is East the movie. If I started reading loud in that accent in the train people would think I'm nuts.

I'm not sure if this ever happens to anyone else but whenever I am into something (phone, car or laptop), I start noticing that thing a lot more around me. For examples, whenever I get a different car, I start noticing more cars like that on the road. Since I have had a bit of interest in growing a moustache, I've been noticing a lot of people with different types of moustaches around me. There are a lot of benefits of having a moustache. Not only does it protect your upper lip from getting cold, it also makes a person look manly too. Just incase you don't have hand tissues you can wipe your hands on them.

Normally, you chew on a bite (of food or chocolate) a few times and then swallow it. Anyone who's feeling hungry would demolish a snickers bar in under a minute. But not the man I seen on the train on Tuesday evening. He had a 50g fruit and nut bar on the desk in front of him when he got on from euston. When he got off at Coventry he'd only had half of that but, I seen him chewing on mouthful of it for the last 35 min. This man had some real patience and skills. My assessment is that he was either a really slow eater or he loved the flavour so much that he wanted to keep on enjoying it and he resisted from swallowing it. Or could it be that he was extracting every bit of nutrition from the nuts in it? Or may be he was ruminating on something he ate before...

The next day in the train back to Birmingham, a lady sitting opposite me (who looked like Edna from incredibles the movie... Same face, hair and glasses) demolished a galaxy bar in 5 minutes. She broke the pieces one by one, chewed them about 10 - 12 times and swallowed them. She looked like she couldn't resist swallowing them as soon as possible.
Another thing I noticed in that man (the one who was eating the fruit and nut bar like it was a three course meal), was his thick moustache not only covering the top but some part of his lower lip too. Considering the type of person he was who extracted all the nutrition there could be in that fruit and nut bar, I am sure he must make full use of his moustache too. If he ever was in a situation where there was no clean water he could drink dirty water and his moustache would filter it clean. I'm sure he doesn't use expensive coffee machines but filters his coffee with his moustache too. 

'No!!! I don't want to listen to your music'. I felt like saying that to a man (looking like Eddie Murphy from the nutty professor) who had his airpods on in the morning train on Wednesday, but it was so loud I could clearly hear it. How can someone listen to that loud music and that too that early in the morning. He was wearing a tight fitted grey suit with a stripy pink shirt. Throughout the journey he had the music fully blasted and he was looking down at the phone screen in a way that I couldn't tell if he had his eyes closed or if he was just looking down checking his own moustache. He only looked up a couple of times. May be he was tired after having concentrated hard on getting his moustache like Eddie.

On my left in the Wednesday morning's train, there was a guy who had a bollywood hair style with long hair like Salman Khan (bollywood actor) in Tere Naam the movie. He was working on his black lenovo laptop (yes I've been noticing these a lot too) constantly fixing his hair and reaching a packet of Almonds in his bag which was strategically placed under the table between his legs. It looked like he was hiding the nuts or maybe he didn't want to give away his secret to beautiful hair. Apparently almonds are good for hair.

In front of that Salman Khan wannabe, there was a man who caught my attention because he looked like he was too excited to be on the train. Even though he had no means of entertainment like headphones, laptop or a book, he was still constantly smiling and looking around. I think he was enjoying the music coming out of Eddie Murphy's double's headphones and unlike me he liked that kind of music. He was wearing a white shirt, black beanie hat and blue chino trousers. I could smell the Hazel nut latte he was drinking which made me think how much of hazelnut syrup has he got in there that I could smell it from a meter and half away. It looked like he was either loving sitting in the train, or the nutty latte or he was getting amused by observing people like me. Is he writing a blog too? Why am I noticing so many nut related things?

I like what David Icke (David Vaughan Icke is an English professional conspiracy theorist and former footballer) said, " Today's mighty Oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground".

What I'd say... its up to you if ;
- you want to be a nut, or
- you want to hold your ground, or
- be a nut and hold your ground, or
- even go nuts.

Enjoy your weekend.

Adeel