My Train Journeys

Monday afternoon, when I got on to my train heading back to Birmingham, the carriage was quite full. I was standing next to a seat with a bag on it, but the lady who was sitting on the seat next to it looked like she didn't want to pick the bag up. She was spread across two seats and there was I standing there trying to find a seat. Why would you even do that?  What kind of a person you have to be to do that? She had the headphones on and was watching something on a tablet. I said to her, 'is anyone sitting here'. I'm sure she heard that but first pretended she couldn't hear me and said, "sorry", so I pointed at her bag and said, "is that yours?“. It looked and felt like she didn't want to answer that in an attempt to make me walk away and find a seat somewhere else. But because she behaved like that, I ensured she picked her bag and I sat in that seat. I could tell she wasn't pleased. She could have been a bit humanitarian (a person ...

'17.03 Avanti West Coast service to Birmingham New Street will be leaving from platform 4'. Due to the trains being delayed earlier yesterday there was a lot of people waiting at the concourse at Euston trains station who were constantly looking at the electronic boards on the top. It was like a marathon had started when that announcement happened. Everyone started walking really fast towards the platform and some eager ones started running just in case there was a prize for someone who gets on the train first. Being the 23rd of December I didn't think it would be this busy but turns out they're all going to the Midlands for Christmas. And they were all in some sort of rush. When someone brushed past me while running towards the train I almost felt like saying (in ferdi's voice) , " you can't see meee!!! Why you running fast, the train will still be there for the next 10 - 12 minutes, don't go anywhere". Having this thought in my head made me...

'Excuse me, how do I know if one of these have an outlet... I mean the electric socket' a man sitting in my train back to Birmingham on Wednesday evening asked the lady sitting opposite me. He said excuse me with a bit of loud voice which got everyone's (including me) attention immediately. They way it sounded, It almost felt like he was going to say something confrontational but it wasn't. Sometimes we make assumptions 'without knowing the full story' or even just by looking at someone. The lady said, 'Errrm by looking' (lol) then she tapped on the table  in front of her and said, 'it's normally on the seats with the tables like this'. I think the man who asked the question was from America (I assumed from his accent). Not only do they talk differently in America, they phrase questions differently too. But this British lady shot him down straight away by answering his question the way it was phrased (she could be a comedian or may b...

If you don't have anyone to hold hands and walk with, put your hands in your pockets and walk alone. (Anonymous - translated from a post in urdu on Facebook). I don't know if this should make someone happy or sad but I think it's quite profound. I'm guessing the young lad sitting opposite me (wearing a burgundy jumper over his grey shirt, black framed glasses and his work pass around his neck with a lanyard) doesn't like walking alone and he wants to hold this youngish lady's hand (who was sitting next to him) while he's walking (or even when he's sitting in the train). I say this because he constantly kept turning his head from time to time and kept looking at her. He looked sad when she got off the seat to get off and it felt like he almost wanted to say, 'don't go anywhere' to her.  I've realised how calm the tubes, dlr and Euston-Station can be later in the day after I travelled around two hours later than my normal ...

If you don't find these blogs funny enough, try reading them in a different accent (in your head if you're in public). For example indian, African or even Arab. Arab accent is the easiest just pretend all the p's are b's and randomly stress on certain words. Or if you wanna learn Indian accent just stress on pronouncing the t's and d's and use j's instead of z's. I proof read my blogs in George Khan's (Om Puri) so called Pakistani accent from East is East the movie. If I started reading loud in that accent in the train people would think I'm nuts. I'm not sure if this ever happens to anyone else but whenever I am into something (phone, car or laptop), I start noticing that thing a lot more around me. For examples, whenever I get a different car, I start noticing more cars like that on the road. Since I have had a bit of interest in growing a moustache, I've been noticing a lot of people with different types of moustaches around ...

Yesterday morning, I was picked up by a gentleman in his late 50's. I greeted him with salam (Muslim greeting) because I had seen his name on the app when I ordered the taxi. I think uncle (the gentleman) must have thought, "I can shout at this young asian man", when I asked him to take a left as he was almost ignoring the sat nav and was going to go straight. He said with a telling off tone "brother, if you need to go that side of the train station, you should have put temple street". I was baffled with that tone but that made me laugh too (because I thought uncle needs to relax). I explained there was also a new street on this side and that was what I'd booked the job for using that post code. It then almost turned into an argument and the man started saying, "brother I've been driving taxi for 15 years, I know". I politely responded please follow the sat nav and my point was proven after a minute when it said, "turn right onto n...

The man sitting opposite me on Thursday morning's train, opened his laptop as soon as he sat down. He had the laptop opened in front of him, closed his eyes for a good few minutes and had his head resting back on the seat. He then opened his eyes and kept staring hard at the laptop screen. It was like he was frowning at it, so much so that he had a crease between his eye brows. Was he trying to control the laptop with his mind? I didn't see him type anything on it and he then closed it after about an hour. What was the purpose of that? If I could control my laptop like that and make it do things without touching it that will literally change everything for me. I'd write this just by staring at my phone..   I feel like I'm doing this with my mind anyway because I'm using the swipe feature. I think that should count as controlling with the mind.  Can anyone control things with their mind? There was a movie called Lucy which was about a similar concept. Go...

Some people demand attention. There's just something about them which makes them look distinctive. Like this young version of Lord Nazir (Nazir Ahmed, Baron Ahmed is a member of the House of Lords of the United Kingdom) on my train back to Birmingham yesterday who chose to sit right opposite me (I felt privileged). He was dressed up in a navy suit, with white shirt and a navy tie with white dots. If this was 1998 when Lord Nazir was appointed and he was younger, I'm sure no one would stop this guy from entering the house of Lords. Anyone would've thought he's Lord Nazir because he had very similar styled facial hair and features plus he was dressed up for sure. He must have been hungry because he smashed a packet of crisp in under a minute while breathing heavily. He looked like he had a blocked nose and his shirt was a bit tight for him. Or was he breathing fast in smaller breaths to ensure that he doesn't pop open the shirts buttons which was a bit tight ...

My taxi driver today needs a mention in the blog because he made the morning journey quite interesting. If interesting is the right word for what happened. When I ordered the taxi it was showing 2 minutes away on the map, then 1 minute as he started moving towards me then it got to 3 minutes. So I looked at the app and noticed he'd taken the wrong exit which meant he had to go further away and then come back. He finally arrived and greeted me with good morning sir (very polite). I couldn't work out what accent he had, it sounded like a type of accent Iranian origin people have mixed with an accent that people from gujrat India have (I've always been interested in accents). He started talking to me while being the most cautious and law abiding taxi driver I've ever seen. He wouldn't go over the legal speed limit even when the roads are all clear and while driving that slow he kept checking the blind spots and mirrors continuously.   He said that I was his fi...

The train today is quite busy being the second working day of the week. The man sitting opposite me in the train this morning looks like Lord Farquaad (with glasses and without the hat) from Shrek. He has this weird look on his face whilst he is busy working on his 14 inch, silver HP laptop. The best way I can explain the look is, he looks like he's scared that he won't be able to finish the work he's doing on his laptop by the time the train stops and he's also constipated. Looks like he's rushing to finish some important work or may be he thinks the time is running out.. On the other hand, the man on his left is sitting with a news paper reading every page of it in detail. It looks like he is killing time and there's almost a sense of calmness on his face. I think he is reading everything written in the news paper to make use of the spare time he has on his hands while he's traveling and he has nothing else to do. He must feel this is a long trai...

It really bothers me when people suddenly change. Their behaviours, attitude and actions all change only because they think it's ok to do so when they see some others doing that. Or is it the announcement on the train when it is reaching the station, makes them change? , "we are now reaching our final stop. All change please, all change". I see this happening everyday. Prefectly normal, polite and sophisticated humans get on the train from the Midlands and when the train is about to reach Euston, they forget all their manners, don't care about giving respect and almost don't see others on the train. All they care about is how to get off the train before others and go through the ticket barriers even if that takes violating human rights or pushing someone. Its like there's a competition. Is there something in London's air that causes this effect? Does the air in London chemically react with some enzyme in their bodies and alter their brains functi...

What can one do to entertain theirself on a boring train journey - read books, newspapers, catchup on TV, movies, social media or even change their face to see how others react. I am an eye witness to two separate occasions when two ladies displayed this magic trick (or even a super power) on the moving train effortlessly. If you could have a super power, what super power would you like to have? Mine would be to be able to see the future. Imagine the possibilities with that. I could save so much time and effort by checking what time exactly my take away would be delivered and then opening the door just before it knocks. This would be the best use of that power most certainly because I wouldn't have to keep waiting for my door to knock while dreaming about the food. Who wants to know the next lottery numbers anyway.. Yesterday, on my train in the morning, there was a lady initially sitting on my left with her eyes closed. She then thought to  herself 'sod it.. I...

The man sitting on my right is loving his sandwich so much that he is celebrating with loud chomping noises (munch or chew noisily or vigorously - Google's definition of chomping). The man opposite me (wearing a grey casual jumper, with black framed glasses, and grey hair... (Is he called Mr Grey?) is giving him dirties but this chomper does not care (or is he oblivious to what he is doing? and he can't see how people are rolling their eyes? ). And.... , the man opposite me has stood up now (what is he gonna do), he pulled his bag from the top rack (this is getting intense), he's pulled out his head phones and put them on as rapidly as he could to block the noise. This situation has compelled me to do something out of norm, I've also had to put on my left ears bluetooth earphone so I could stop this torture. I don't ever do this normally, I like using one ear for music and the other to hear things around me.(you can try that too) I've just realised,...

There are two types of people in the world (again another well tested theory of mine); ones who can understand simple instructions and the others that need a step by step guide in writing to be able to understand simple instructions. The lad whose served me in the coffee shop this morning was certainly the latter type. He couldn't comprehend my simple enough order, "caramel latte with half the amount of caramel syrup you would normally use and an almond Croissant please".  He made me repeat that twice, packed the croissant in a bag and left it on the counter in front of me and then I caught him adding a lot of syrup to my cup. I had to intervene, as I don't like a very sweet coffee. I said, "can you take some out of the cup as I said half the amount", he started showing me the bottle of syrup and said we've only got that much (what is going on with him). Then he started to pack another croissant and again I had to tell him he'd done that...

12 November 2019 There are a few categories of people that travel on trains (according to me.. I'll detail some more in later blogs). Some travel short distances and some long. I sometimes play this guessing game in my head by having a quick glance down the carriage and guessing how many will get off at the next two stops and believe me I'm getting better at this game. It could be because I've seen a few faces regularly traveling and I've remembered where they get on and get off. Or their body language shows they'll get off soon as they start picking their stuff and start leaning forward in their seats as their stations approach. Which is what the man sitting opposite me and the one sitting on my right did before getting off. I've mastered the skill of not dropping any crumbs while eating a fresh baked crisp and a very flaky pain au chocolat. It only took me a few months to learn this skill but that's another thing on the list of my achieveme...

Today's first few achievements - having made it to my train within 6 minutes before it was departing which meant: a 150 metre down hill sprint towards the station, then getting a salted caramel latte with an almond croissant (fancied something different) and holding the back pack, a coffee and the croissant in one hand while using the ticket in the barriers with the left hand and then securing a decent seat in the train. It's a fairly busy carriage today and also a very quiet one. But I do think my choice of drink and the croissant today are even better at sharpening my observational skills. I say this because there's a man sitting two rows ahead listening to morning radio with his head phones on but I can still hear that clearly. Or could it be that he hasn't connected the headphones correctly? As I got on and sat in my seat there were two men already sitting on the two seats opposite me one at 12 o'clock and the other at 11 o'clock (their posi...